I decided to put my page file on a separate disk from the Windows
disk. To do this I had to choose: Control Panel > System >
Advanced System Settings > Performance: Settings > Advanced >
Virtual Memory: Change, where I finally got to start apportioning page
file space. Lotsa clicking to get that far, and Vista will only
directly take you as far as System under “change the size of virtual
memory” in Help and Support. It’s worried that you might hurt
yourself if it makes things too easy, I guess.
I selected the partition I had created to put the page file on. Vista
told me how much space was available. I chose to use it all. Vista
told me, oh no, that’s too much, you have to select 5 MB (or something
like that) less. So why didn’t it offer me the lower number in the
first place? Anyway, I chose that lower number, and took the page
file space away from the Windows drive.
I got a warning that I need to have at least 200 MB virtual memory on
the Windows disk, or else Vista wouldn’t be able to do crash dumps. I
don’t know why it can’t do them on the other drive, but of course I
complied, and added 200 MB virtual memory back to the Windows disk.
Then Vista started constantly pestering me with those mosquitolike
bubble messages in the notification area telling me that the page file
volume is getting too full. You’d think it would be smart enough to
realize this won’t be a problem with a fixed size page file, but I
guess not. Worse, the bubble messages wouldn’t tell me how low I had
to take the page file size (i.e., how much page file volume space I
had to waste) before it’d stop bitching at me. Reminds me of the
“flair” thing from Office Space. So I shaved off 10 MB at a time
until eventually it shut up.
Now I periodically get error messages in Event Viewer that read
“Configuring the Page file for crash dump failed. Make sure there is
a page file on the boot partition and that is large enough to contain
all physical memory.”
Comments:
(1) That’s a hell of a lot more than 200 MB.
(2) No one even proofread the second sentence in that message. (Hint:
“it.”)
(3) I hate the term “physical memory,” and wish people would stop
using it. Disk memory is just as “physical” as RAM. And I’d bet
anything that message will go right over a lot of people’s heads—EVEN
IF THEY LOOK IT UP: try searching on “physical memory” in Help and
Support and see what you get back. No doubt there are users out there
thinking they need a terabyte-sized page file.
(4) I swear to God that when this kind of thing happens I can see the
individual members of the disjointed committee that “designed” Vista.
(5) I think that Windows ought to just have an entry in Help and
Support under “virtual memory” that reads: “Just leave the damn
virtual memory alone. And go **** yourself while you’re at it.”
This is what living with Vista is like. I want my money back. And
the money for the perfectly good peripherals I had to replace because
they wouldn’t work under Vista.
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