Very good indeed Kevpan, Spanky etc, Jees!
"On The Bridge - Drunk As A Skunk" <> wrote in message
news:...
> How does Alias find his sheep in long grass?
>
> Very Satisfying
>
> ---------------
>
> What do you call 4 sheep tied to a lamppost at Alias's medical ward?
>
> A Lieisure Center
>
> ---------------
> "On The Bridge" had a little Sheep,
> He took it to bed to warm his feet,
> then he saw it was a ram,
> "On The Bridge" had a little Lamb.
>
> --------------------
>
> A shepherd (Alias) and his dog are shipwrecked onto a remote Scottish
> island. After a few days Alias decides to explore the island. Alias
> discovers that the only other inhabitants are sheep. He recalls how his
> farm buddies would brag how they would sometimes make love to sheep and he
> says to himself: 'I'll never be that desperate.'
> Sooooo, a few days later he can't get those sheep out of his mind, and
> soon he's sneaking up on the flock. Just as he is about to pounce on a
> really cute one, the dog grabs his leg and won't let go. He snaps to, and
> thanks the dog for keeping him from making a fool of himself. This same
> scene happens every night for a month and the shepherd is really getting
> unhappy at the dog. Suddenly one day, the man spies a liferaft bobbing in
> the surf. In the raft is a beautiful young girl, half dead but alive. He
> takes her back to his hut revives her and nurses her to health. After a
> few days the girl is feeling fine, and that evening a rush of gratitude
> sweeps over her.... She confronts the man: 'I owe you my life. I'm yours
> forever. I'll do anything you want' 'Anything?'
> 'Anything!!' 'OK, hold that dog for ten minutes!!!'
>
> ----------------------------
>
> A couple months back there was this trial in the Spanish courts. Alias was
> being tried for fornicating with a sheep, since that's illegal after all.
>
> Anyway, the key witness, "On the Bridge" was an old fella who was walking
> along the highway by the farm where the sheep was raised. The prosecutor
> asked the witness what he saw: 'Well, I was walkin' along, and saw this
> sheep just'a eatin' grass. And then this fella walks up from behind the
> sheep, real quiet-like.'
>
> 'And then what?' asked the prosecutor.
>
> 'Then he unbuckled his belt, and pulled the sheep close.'
>
> 'And what happened after that?'
>
> 'Well,' said the witness, 'they sorta shook for a couple of minutes. THEN,
> afterwards, the sheep turned around... an' licked him!'
>
> Just then one of the members of the jury leaned over to the jury member
> next to him and said, 'You know .. a good sheep'll do that.'
>
> --------------------------
>
> "On The Bridge" finally makes his fortune and is having his dream house
> bulit. As he talks to the architect on how he wants the house built he
> says, 'See that tree there, don't cut it down because under that tree I
> made love for the first time.'
>
> The architect says he understands the sentimental value of the tree and he
> will design the house so that the tree isn't harmed.
>
> Then "On The Bridge" says, 'And you see that tree over there, I don't want
> it cut either, because her mother stood there and watched as we made
> love.'
>
> The architect could hardly believe his ears,'That's incredible, what did
> her mother say?'
>
> To which the man replies,'Baaaaaa.''
>
>
>
>
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