Update errors 0x80248011. I've tried everything.

WinXP SP2. Update hangs when scanning for updates. Says the "webpage is temp.
unavilable" gives error 0x80248011.

If I download and install an update, I get a different error saying that it
"could not verify the integrity of my Update.INF file" and "make sure
cryptographic services are running". There doesn't appear to be an Update.INF
file on the computer (yep, changed attrib of the
%systemroot%\system32\catroot..... etc.) I don't seem to have an EDB.log
either. There is a dberr.txt file in catroot2 folder that has a lot of recent
error messages similar to this:
"CatalogDB: 6:37:38 PM 12/8/2005: Adding Catalog File: oem35.CAT
CatalogDB: 6:37:38 PM 12/8/2005: File #1 at line #536 encountered error
0xfffff8ed". Tried renaming \\catroot2, and I've renamed \\Software
Distribution folder several times.
I have re-initialized a zillion .DLLs including those for the cryptographic
services.

Also cannot access this computer using remote desktop. Says the Winlogon has
been replaced with an incompatible version. I don't know if that's related or
not to the update problem.

I'm BEAT, I give UP. I've emailed MSoft... nothing yet. Help... please.
--
Thanks,
Hoyt
(Tired of this...)