Captain Picard... the away team is back.....and look what we found!

Discussion in 'Windows Vista Performance' started by jim, Jan 25, 2007.

  1. jim

    TK Guest

    He's actually pretty creative I think. More creative than your responses
    surely.
    Basically you don't like the way he jokes so he's a loser?
     
    TK, Jan 26, 2007
    #21
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  2. jim

    TK Guest

    You people are too uptight :-(
     
    TK, Jan 26, 2007
    #22
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  3. jim

    TK Guest

    Relieving tension isn't useful??
     
    TK, Jan 26, 2007
    #23
  4. jim

    jim Guest

    And here is the conclusion>>>>>


    part 2 Star Trek> vindication of plagiarism

    Authors Note: Since I do not take such accusations lightly and to prove to
    you that the story is original..
    I will continue... and I challenge you can find ANYTHING like this!
    -----

    Holodeck1:
    Data: Captain, we have succesfully replicated a computer of that era and
    placed it into an isolation chamber in there we have loaded all the
    remaining data from the crashed time capsule.

    Jordi: The containment field will keep this computer totally isolated from
    all our computer systems so we can study the remaining data from the ancient
    internet, including what seems to be a fully intact copy of the Vista OS.

    Picard: You have actually found an intact copy of Vista???

    Data: Affirmative Sir. The creators of the capsule were not aware at the
    moment that Vista was the cause of the Borg attacks. So they thought that
    they should preserve various software and among them is Vista.

    Picard: I want you to take extra care in handling this Vista.. if the borg
    can detect it, we may be putting our in unwarranted danger. What else did
    you find.

    Jordi: Captain we are trying to make sense of a strange language we found in
    the records we were able to retrieve.

    Picard: What kind of language? Is it not one of the known human languages?

    Data: I have stored in my positronic brain all human languages Sir, along
    with thousands of alien ones. This does not correspond to anything. The
    sounds are rather intriguing!

    Picard: Like what?

    Data: sounds something like this: google yahoo youtube ....google yahoo
    youtube

    Picard: Perhaps its some chant of some sort?

    Jordi: Perhaps, when we retrieve more information we will know....

    Worf from the Bridge on Picards COM: Captain a romulan warship has just
    decloked!

    Picard: Data, To the bridge.

    Now on the Bridge:

    Worf: They are ignoring our hailing and are powering up their weapons!

    Riker: Red Alert!

    Picard: Why here, why now? Perhaps they detected the signal of the time
    capsule when we reactivated it?

    Data: Quite possible

    Worf: They are transmitting visuals...

    Picard: On screen

    Romulan high commander: Enterprise, we know you have retrieved the Borg
    weapon, and we want you to send it to us now or be destroyed!

    Picard moved his hand across his neck, indicated to worf to cut the sound of
    the channel " Data, do you think that they may have mistaken the time
    capsule as a borg weapon for some reason?"

    Data: It is quite possible, since the romulans were monitoring the earth
    while the borg attack started world war III and at that same time this time
    capsule was launched and started sending out the signal. They may have
    thought that this device was some kind of borg weapon! It does in fact
    contain the vista, that was the Trojan horse that alowed the borg to start
    the destruction on earth.

    Picard: Worf, do we have any advantage over them?

    Worf: Sir their ship is very heavily armed... if we engage in battle we will
    probably perish but it will be an honorable death.

    Picard: Worf enable communications "Romulan vessel, you leave us no other
    option, as you know we humans care for life too much, if we give you what
    you want
    will you agree to leave us with no further hostilities?"

    Romulan high commander: Agreed Enterprise, you are wise to acknowledge our
    superiority

    Picard: Jordi... listen carefully, I want you to transmit all of the Vista
    code, DIRECTLY to their main computer.
    They want it... THEY WILL HAVE IT!!!!

    Jordi: Aye SIR!........ TRANSMISSION COMPLETE!

    Worf: Shields, weapon systems, and life support are failing on the enemy
    warship!!!

    Picard: Now I have you where I want you, Jordi, beam them directly to cargo
    bay 2, Worf get a security team over there at once!

    After the crisis was over

    Data: Captain, your strategy was intrguiging... how did you know that Vista
    would disable the enemy warship?

    Picard: Data, you forget that I love reading history. Vista has gone down in
    history, as the most buggy badly written software of all times!
    If it could start a world war and destroy a planet... it could surely
    disable a warship :)



    -K

    PS TRY FINDING THAT somewhere else!!! HAHAHAHAHA
     
    jim, Jan 26, 2007
    #24
  5. jim

    Ron K. Guest

    "Damn it Jim, I think its dead!" Deforrest Kelly on the Star Trek Franchise.
     
    Ron K., Jan 26, 2007
    #25
  6. jim

    Ron K. Guest

    Someone hand me a phaser, i need to vaporize someone!
     
    Ron K., Jan 26, 2007
    #26
  7. jim

    Spock Guest

    As I have stated all along, clearly humans are quite illogical
    Spock out



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    Spock, Jan 26, 2007
    #27
  8. jim

    Alias Guest

    Yeah, go for it.

    Alias
     
    Alias, Jan 26, 2007
    #28
  9. jim

    Henry Jones Guest

    Someone who comes up with an entertaining story and you call him a loser?

    You need to take your medication!
     
    Henry Jones, Jan 26, 2007
    #29
  10. jim

    Henry Jones Guest

    Right after the latest reality show at 8PM, the adventures of Picard and
    Data. Set your Tivo's DVR's and VCR's to record another episode.
     
    Henry Jones, Jan 26, 2007
    #30
  11. jim

    King Missile Guest

    <snip Bruce tripe>
     
    King Missile, Jan 26, 2007
    #31
  12. jim

    jim Guest

    is anyone interested? :)
    Here you go:


    part 2 Romulans everywhere

    Star Trek> vindication of plagiarism
    Authors Note: Some people in the newsgroup this story was originally posted
    on, claimed that I have read a similar story somewhere with older characters
    (kirk spock) and just changed it... Since I do not take such accusations of
    plagiarism lightly and to prove to you that the above story is original..I
    will continue... and I challenge you can find ANYTHING like this!-----


    Holodeck1:

    Data: Captain, we have successfully replicated a computer of that era and
    placed it into an isolation chamber in there we have loaded all the
    remaining data from the crashed time capsule.

    Jordi: The containment field will keep this computer totally isolated from
    all our computer systems so we can study the remaining data from the ancient
    internet, including what seems to be a fully intact copy of the Vista OS.

    Picard: You have actually found an intact copy of Vista???

    Data: Affirmative Sir.

    The creators of the capsule were not aware at the moment that Vista was the
    cause of the Borg attacks. So they thought that they should preserve various
    software and among them is Vista.

    Picard: I want you to take extra care in handling this Vista.. if the Borg
    can detect it, we may be putting us in unwarranted danger. What else did you
    find?

    Jordi: Captain we are trying to make sense of a strange language we found in
    the records we were able to retrieve.

    Picard: What kind of language? Is it not one of the known human languages?

    Data: I have stored in my positronic brain all human languages Sir, along
    with thousands of alien ones. This does not correspond to any of them. The
    sounds are rather intriguing!

    Picard: Like what?

    Data: sounds something like this: "google yahoo youtube ....google yahoo
    youtube"

    Picard: Perhaps its some chant of some sort?

    Jordi: Perhaps, when we retrieve more information we will know....

    Worf from the Bridge on Picards COM: Captain a Romulan warship has just
    decloked!

    Picard: Data, To the bridge.

    Now on the Bridge

    Worf: They are ignoring our hailing and are powering up their weapons!

    Riker: Red Alert!

    Picard: Why here, why now? Perhaps they detected the signal of the time
    capsule when we reactivated it?

    Data: Quite possible

    Worf: They are transmitting visuals...

    Picard: On screen

    Romulan high commander: Enterprise, we know you have retrieved the Borg
    weapon, and we want you to send it to us now or be destroyed!

    Picard moved his hand across his neck, indicating to Worf to cut the sound
    of the channel " Data, do you think that they may have mistaken the time
    capsule as a Borg weapon for some reason?"

    Data: It is quite possible, since the Romulans were monitoring the earth
    while the Borg attack started world war III and at that same time this time
    capsule was launched and started sending out the signal. They may have
    thought that this device was some kind of Borg weapon! It does in fact
    contain the vista, that was the Trojan horse that allowed the Borg to start
    the destruction on earth.

    Picard: Worf, do we have any advantage over them?

    Worf: Sir their ship is very heavily armed... if we engage in battle we will
    probably perish but it will be an honorable death.

    Picard: Worf enable communications "Romulan vessel, you leave us no other
    option, as you know we humans care for life too much, if we give you what
    you want will you agree to leave us with no further hostilities?"

    Romulan high commander: Agreed Enterprise, you are wise to acknowledge our
    superiority


    Picard: Jordi... listen carefully, I want you to transmit all of the Vista
    code, DIRECTLY to their main computer. They want it?... LET THEM HAVE IT!!!!

    Jordi: Aye SIR!........ TRANSMISSION COMPLETE!

    Worf: Shields, weapon systems, and life support are failing on the enemy
    warship!!!


    Picard: Now I have you where I want you, Jordi, beam them directly to cargo
    bay 2, Worf get a security team over there at once!

    After the crisis was over

    Data: Captain, your strategy was intriguing... how did you know that Vista
    would disable the enemy warship?

    Picard: Data, you forget that I love reading history. Vista has gone down in
    history, as the most buggy badly written software of all times! If it could
    start a world war and destroy a planet... it could surely disable a warship
    :)-


    THE END
     
    jim, Jan 26, 2007
    #32
  13. jim

    Robert Moir Guest

    Who came up with an entertaining story? This is an old meme recycled.
     
    Robert Moir, Jan 27, 2007
    #33
  14. jim

    Alias Guest

    It was the first time I've seen it. Just because you saw it before
    doesn't mean everyone has.

    Alias
     
    Alias, Jan 27, 2007
    #34
  15. jim

    jim Guest

    when doing a star trek sci-fi mockery of windows... you have to use windows
    for destruction... you can do variants.. but don't expect me to make a
    story
    of the enterprise running windows and everyone will be happy with it.

    By the way I had not seen any windows-star trek stories either..

    I can do something 100% original but it would not involve well known
    television shows...

    I think it would be logical to conclude that those have already been used
    for various parodies.
     
    jim, Jan 27, 2007
    #35
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