I wonder if these will ever be hacked/cracked?

Discussion in 'Windows Vista General Discussion' started by MICHAEL, Jan 7, 2007.

  1. MICHAEL

    MICHAEL Guest

    Probably been post before so just consider this a refresher course. :p

    MICROSOFT WIFE and MS GIRLFRIEND

    MS-Girlfriend and MS-Wife 1.0 -
    By: Unknown

    GirlFriend 1.0
    I'm currently running the latest version of Girlfriend and
    I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the
    same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary
    application, and all the Girlfriend releases I've tried have
    always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't
    crash if Girlfriend is run in background mode and the sound
    is turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the
    switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately,
    and it works okay. Girlfriend also seems to have a problem
    co-existing with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf
    with some sort of timing incompatibility.

    GirlFriend 2.0
    I probably should have stayed with Girlfriend 1.0, but I
    thought I might see better performance from Girlfriend 2.0.
    After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a
    friend who has had experience with Girlfriend 2.0. He said I
    probably didn't have enough cache to run Girlfriend 2.0, and
    eventually it would require a Token Ring to run properly. He
    was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled
    itself. I tried running GirlFriend 2.0 with GirlFriend 1.0
    still installed, but they tried using the same i/o port and
    conflicted. Then I tried to unistall GirlFriend 1.0 but it
    didn't have an uninstall program. I tried to uninstall it by
    hand, but it put files in my system directory.

    GirlFriend 3.0
    Shortly after that, I installed Girlfriend 3.0 beta. All the
    bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it,
    it gave me a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole
    system and shut down for a while.

    GirlFriend 4.0
    I very cautiously upgraded to Girlfriend 4.0. This time I
    used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus
    protection program. It worked okay for a while until I
    discovered that Girlfriend 1.0 was still in my system. I
    tried running Girlfriend 1.0 again with Girlfriend 4.0 still
    installed, but Girlfriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know
    about that automatically senses the presence of any other
    version of Girlfriend and communicates with it in some way,
    which results in the immediate removal of both versions.
    The version I have now works pretty well, but there are
    still some problems. Like all versions of Girlfriend, it is
    written in some obscure language I can't understand, much
    less reprogram. Frankly, I think there is too much attention
    paid to the look and feel rather than the desired
    functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your
    hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts. And
    I've never liked how Girlfriend is totally
    "object-oriented."

    GirlFriend 5.0
    Some features I'd like to see in the Upcoming GirlFriend
    5.0...
    * - A "Don't remind me again" button
    * - Minimize button
    * - Shutdown feature
    * - An install shield feature so that Girlfriend 4.0 can
    be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don't
    lose cache and other objects)
    * - "Abort" button
    * - An option to run the network driver in promiscuous
    mode which would allow the systems hardware probe
    feature to be much more useful.
    Another thing that is very irritating -- all versions of
    Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about
    the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0

    GirlFriend Plus and Wife 1.0
    A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of
    Girlfriend to GirlfriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and
    Stay Resident version of Girlfriend. He discovered that
    GirlfriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't
    upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did, but soon after that, he
    had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a huge
    resource hog. It has taken up all his space, so he can't
    load anything else. One of the primary reasons he decided to
    go with Wife 1.0 was because it came bundled with
    FreeSexPlus. Wife 1.0 must be running before he can do
    anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with
    Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw and BrotherInLaw.
    Well, it turns out the resource allocation module of Wife
    1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly
    the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0
    must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do
    anything.
    ---------------------------------------------------
    ***** BUG WARNING ********
    Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to
    install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0,
    Wife 1.0 will delete MS-Money files before doing
    the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will
    refuse to install, claiming insufficient
    resources.
    ---------------------------------------------------
    ****** BUG WORK-AROUNDS *****
    To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress
    1.1 on a different system and never run any file
    transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also,
    beware of similar shareware applications that have
    been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife
    1.0.
    Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via
    a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here
    again, beware of the viruses which can accidently
    be downloaded from the UseNet.
    ---------------------------------------------------
    MS-Wife 1.0 Testimonial
    Wife 1.0 is not only a memory hog that leaves very little
    system resources for other applications. He is only now
    noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes
    which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention
    of this particular phenomena was included in the product
    brochure or the documentation, though other users have
    informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature
    of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself
    such that it is always launched at system initialization
    where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding
    that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash
    2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the
    system at all, crashing the system when selected (even
    though they always worked fine before). Also, system
    performance seems to diminish with each passing day..
    NEWSFLASH
    I came across more tech notes about this product on the
    Usenet News Groups.
    You should immediately add this to your README.TXT and
    update your WIFE.INI file as noted.
    ---------------------------------------------------
    ***** BUG FIX *****
    Another bug has surfaced with the uninstall
    feature of WIFE 1.0. A TSR program stays resident
    in memory after uninstalling WIFE 1.0 that on a
    recurring basis takes up to 50% of your system
    resources before allowing any of your programs to
    run. In cases of complex or "messy" uninstalls,
    resource losses can be as high as 80%. This TSR
    can be negated by adding the following line to
    your WIFE.INI file:
    DEVICE=C:\WIFE\SETUP\PRENUPTL.386
    IMPORTANT - This line must be inserted before the
    DEVICE=C:\WIFE\SETUP\WDDNGDAY.386 statement in
    order to work properly. This new driver will
    redirect all calls to
    C:\WIFE\UNINSTALL\CMNLPROP.DLL to
    C:\WIFE\UNINSTALL\WAIVEALL.DLL
    during the uninstall process.
    ---------------------------------------------------
    ***** UPGRADE ANNOUNCEMENT *****
    WIFE 2.0 is currently in development and should be
    ready for release shortly. WIFE 2.0 takes 30% less
    disk space while featuring a flashier, more
    attractive, User Interface. Unfortunately, this
    upgrade is expected to require significantly more
    resources than Wife 1.0. For those users unable to
    upgrade to Wife 2.0, addins RedSprtsCar and
    NewBoat are currently in beta testing. These
    addins will work with the executable
    C:\WIFE\MIDLIFE.COM.
     
    MICHAEL, Jan 7, 2007
    #1
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